she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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