This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize