so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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