wanna go halves on a baby?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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