I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My dick has a subreddit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize