After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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