Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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