a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
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Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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