Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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