Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
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You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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