I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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