is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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