and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize