He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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