He uses pillows to masturbate.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize