Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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