What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize