hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize