this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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