Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I fill condoms, not promises.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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