Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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