I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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