i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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