My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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