he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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