My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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