Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize