I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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