I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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