At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize