I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize