I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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