yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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