That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize