We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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