Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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