It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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