Are we in a gay sports bar?
I will die if light touches me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize