Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize