There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she smelled like a LAN party
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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