I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize