Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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