Your dad touched me again.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize