I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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