ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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