We need to rekindle our bromance
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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