jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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