Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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