I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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