You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize